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Brad Stulberg, a prominent author, coach, and speaker, widely recognized for his deep insights into how individuals can achieve and maintain peak performance. His bestselling books, such as Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox, have made significant contributions to our understanding of success, motivation, and the science behind achieving personal bests.
In this episode, we’re focusing on the insights from Brad’s latest groundbreaking work, Masters of Change. Brad offers a unique perspective on using change as a catalyst for growth and success.
Whether you’re seeking to enhance your personal journey, professional trajectory, or both, this episode is a treasure trove of knowledge and practical wisdom.
Here are my notes from our conversation…
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The Science of Change (2:14)
Traditionally, we’ve understood change through the concept of homeostasis, a term from biology dating back to the 1500s near the beginning of empirical science.
Homeostasis describes change as a cycle of order, disorder, and then a return to order. This suggests living systems crave stability and any change is viewed as a threat, so we should avoid change and try to get back to where we started as quickly as possible. In other words: We achieve stability by staying the same.
Only recently has the scientific community realized that homeostasis isn’t the best fit model for individuals and organizations who achieve long-term excellence. Instead, a new model called allostasis is more fitting.
Allostasis sees change as a cycle of order, disorder, then reorder. This implies that that there’s no going back to the original state after a change, but instead stability is achieved somewhere new. In other words:
Stability is achieved through change, not by staying the same.
Our natural human instincts make change disconcerting and, thus, is inherently seen as a negative. We see people resist change or deny that it’s even happening. Sometimes people finally accept it, but then sacrifice their agency, throwing up their hands and saying, “Oh my gosh, this is so overwhelming, there’s nothing I can do.”
But most common is trying to get back to how things were before. Some examples Brad gives include:
- A new parent comparing their sleep schedule to where it was before.
- A person approaching retirement or maybe even already in retirement trying to compare their energy level and sense of purpose to what it was when they were still working.
- People who move to a new city and compare their new location to their old one.
- When a close friend moves away and you seek out that old best friend in your other relationships
In all of these instances, we cling to the old instead of realizing that stability only comes when you accept that it’s going to be somewhere new.
The more you resist change, the more mental suffering you endure. Allostasis posits that change itself can be an agent of stability, that stability involves not just coping with these changes but actively engaging with them.
This perspective is incredibly empowering. It suggests that our ability to adapt – to learn, grow, and evolve in response to change – is what actually keeps us stable. So rather than viewing change as a threat to our stability, allostasis encourages us to see it as an opportunity to develop new forms of stability, ones that are more suited to our current circumstances.
Rugged Flexibility and The Importance of Core Values (7:20)
Individuals and organizations that sustain excellence for a long period of time are not rugged or flexible, they’re rugged and flexible.
On its face, these terms are almost polar opposites. To be rugged is to be tough, determined, and durable. To be flexible is to be soft, supple, adaptable, and bend easily without breaking.
So these individuals and organizations that display rugged flexibility have core values that make them who or what they are, but then they’re extremely good at being flexible in how they apply those core attributes to different circumstances.
An essential source of ruggedness is core values. Examples of core values that Brad shares include, presence, creativity, health, intellect, wisdom, teamwork, authenticity, family, love, spirituality, strength, etc.
Research suggests that knowing and practicing your core values makes change less intimidating. If the world around you seems crazy, complexity rears its head, or the path forward can is uncertain—your core values become like heuristics to guide you into the unknown.
Yet, our core values change over time. I had a fascinating conversation with Hal Hershfield (EP.122: Connecting With Your Future Self to Make Better Decisions) in which we talked a lot about this topic.
Brad uses a wonderful metaphor of a river in thinking about core values and how they change over time.
A river is defined by its banks, the boundaries that guide where the water goes. Without a bank, it would just be random water. When thinking about our identity over time and through change, our core values are our riverbank—our core values give our identity direction over time. So even though core values can and often do change, they’re within alignment of our old core values.
Not only do core values help us navigate change, but they act as an internal dashboard amid external pressures like the news cycle and social media.
They help us focus on what truly matters, unlike external metrics like net worth or productivity. For example, someone might chase a financial target when what they really seek is autonomy or belonging. Core values help us choose our goals more wisely and more meaningfully measure our success over time.
How a Diversified Identity Reduces Fear and Increases Resilience (16:00)
Maintaining a diversified identity is vital. Over-identifying with a single aspect makes us vulnerable to change. Brad shares the story of how speed skater Nils van der Poel diversified his identity beyond sports, reducing fear and increasing resilience.
Rather than summarize that anecdote, I think it’s best to listen to Brad in the audio or video. But the broad idea of diversified identity is a lot like having a house with multiple rooms or a diversified investment portfolio. This diversification provides stability amidst change.
If we only have all our identity and self-worth in one thing, it makes us very fragile, because eventually that one thing is going to change. Whereas if we have multiple sources of identity and multiple sources of meaning, it sets us up for long term success.
But returning to the house metaphor, Brad notes that it’s okay (and even normal) to have a season of your life where you spend a lot of time in one room of your house so long as you don’t let the other rooms deteriorate to the point that they aren’t available to you in other seasons of your life.
(Hat tip to Brad for also using an investment example here to further emphasize the importance of diversification.)
Tragic Optimism (22:15)
The research shows that the average adult goes through 35 major life changes. So we’re always somewhere in conversation with change. At this point, we’ve talked about the importance of core values and diversified identity in establishing rugged flexibility that allows us to find stability within change. Other things Brad points out that are use are ritual and routine as well as enduring relationships.
Having these areas of ruggedness allows you to be flexible on everything else.
There are good changes and bad changes, but I don’t think too many people worry about good changes. So much of the investment coaching I do with clients is acknowledging that bad things will happen, but it will be okay.
Happiness is the difference between expectations and reality.
So if I know markets are going to experience losses with a similar magnitude and frequency as they have in the past, I don’t need to predict them or fear them, but instead I can plan for them.
Brad talks about tragic optimism, a term coined by 20th century philosopher and psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl, that acknowledges the inherent tragedies of life – pain, suffering, and impermanence – while maintaining hope and optimism. Frankl is most known for his book Man’s Search For Meaning, but he wrote a short essay called “The Case for Tragic Optimism.”
The essay argues that even the most average human existence will have pain, suffering, and tragedy for three reasons. The first is that we’re made of flesh and bonds, so our bodies will hurt at some point. The second is that we have enormous prefrontal cortexes in our brains, so we make plans and sometimes they don’t work out—and that hurts. The third is that everything we love and want to hold on to forever will eventually change (scientists know, we’re the only species acutely aware of our own mortality).
Frankel says that those are real tragedies. But he argues that the work of a mature adult is accepting and acknowledging those tragedies, and maintaining hope and optimism nonetheless.
So it’s not tragedy or optimism, it’s tragic optimism. In Buddhism, they talk about the 10,000 joys and the 10,000 sorrows. And you don’t get one without the other.
In today’s world, there’s so much pressure to be happy all the time (or in some circles to kind of be despairing and nihilistic all the time). There’s such a wide chasm in the middle—where the research shows that we all ought to exist—which is to acknowledge the very real pain, suffering, and tragedy of being a human, and to work to maintain our hope and optimism, nonetheless.
It’s about recognizing the realities of life and still finding meaning and positivity. This perspective is crucial in dealing with change and challenges.
Reacting vs Responding to Change (28:20)
There’s so much in this world that we can’t control—all you can do is control yourself and your reaction to the world going around you.
Many philosophers have said that our freedom lies in the space between stimulus and what we do about it. That’s where our humanity and agency reside. When we’re confronted with change, we can react or respond.
Reacting is instinctive and often regrettable, while responding is thoughtful and discerning. Evolution has primed us to react quickly to threats, but in modern life, it’s more beneficial to respond thoughtfully. Responding involves 4 P’s: pausing, processing, planning, and then proceeding. This is more effective in managing change.
In addition, regularly asking questions like how balanced your identity house is, what triggers your reactivity, and reviewing your core values annually are important. Also, aligning expectations with reality and practicing tragic optimism are key to navigating change effectively.
Resources:
- Brad’s Books: Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, Masters of Change
- [enter all resource links here]
- Find Brad Stulberg online: Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn
- EP.122: Connecting With Your Future Self to Make Better Decisions
- Additional Reading: Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
The Long Term Investor is edited by the team at The Podcast Consultant
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